


so if the world should end tonight

by newsagogo



Category: Dirty Computer - Janelle Monáe (Music Video)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Memory Loss, Multi, Polyamory, Post-Canon, Running Away, idk who else hangs out in this fandom but im willing to get us to more than one page of works, vaguely? might add on to this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-01-11
Packaged: 2021-02-19 02:03:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22203472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/newsagogo/pseuds/newsagogo
Summary: Polyam triad struggling with memory and feelings or:Ché, Zen, and Jane, on their way out of the Worst air bnb ever
Relationships: Ché/Jane/Zen (Dirty Computer)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	so if the world should end tonight

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this very quick with very low battery i didnt proofread at all

You were Mary Apple 54, and as of one hour ago you are finally Jane 5782 - a dirty computer- again.

You look to Zen, beautiful and free, who was Mary Apple 53. She's panting just as much as you are after carrying Ché all the way out of that hell, and as much as you love (loved?) him he wasn't exactly the lightest thing to carry between you both. 

(you want to kiss them, you think. you know you've missed them, you've missed the _Us_ the three of you made but-

but are you still them?)

Ché grins at the both of you, still not quite believing you made it out of there, stretched out in the back of the van you'd stolen to drive far out into the desert, out from the shadows. In his hands are the masks you'd used, and idly you think he must have a dozen ideas of how to make them into something better

(he always was better with clothes than you and Zen, you can't count the number of memories of his smile after fixing up a jacket someone had given up on. Those smiles are and were precious things to you.

They took a lot of your memories - Ché's smiles- from you but they couldn't take them _all_.)

He's asking something as you drive, you've drifted in your mind again (again?) and you don't know what it was. He quirks his lips, like this is something you always do (was it? is it still?) and he says "Where to, oh fearless Jane?" Zen's looking at you both, hands flapping in her lap as she smiles (you think she looks subdued, shouldn't the gesture be bigger? From how Ché looks to her, you think something must be different) and there's something in the way they look at you that makes something spark under the fog in your mind that wasn't always there covering everything up.

"The beach, of course" you throw back, knowing already its safe, that the place where the 3 of you were together is still there, that the pier where you got your tattoo was untouched (they didn't take that from you, they took the _why_ but they couldn't take the _where_ , you wouldn't let them).

"I've missed the sea," Zen sighs beside you "bet we can find a group to take us further on there." As she leans back against her seat, Ché drags himself more upright and leans against the back, one arm slung forward to her. Zen hooks their fingers instantly, easy affection between them, surprise in her eyes (relief in his).

Later, you think, later you and Zen will sit down with Ché and explain how much of what made you yourselves was gone - maybe that the two he loved were still missing and maybe never coming back. Later you'll do your best to pick up the pieces.

(Later, Ché tells you that it didn't matter and he remembers enough for the three of you. He helps plan a path out further to everywhere you'd been an Us and swears to tell you all your stories. Later, Ché tells you he loves you and if either of you doubted that then he was clearly slacking.

Later, under the stars in a pile on the sand, with Zens hair under your hands and your head on Ché's shoulder, you realise you don't need all your memories to be a family)

**Author's Note:**

> you do not understand how much i love this emotion picture and hey do you ever think about how much of their memories must be gone? thats fucked up right? that haunts me and makes me want to write


End file.
